We live in a bustling, crowded world, yet loneliness is still with us, wearing many faces. It can be a man wandering the aisles of a supermarket just to avoid going home too early. Or a woman who laughs too loudly at podcasts on the train and pretends she is a part of a conversation. It can be a student drawing elaborate doodles in the margins of textbooks because no one passes notes to her in class. Or a new mother pushing a stroller along the streets and rehearsing casual conversations she never gets to start.

 

In the face of such varied forms, not limited by age, gender, role, or profession, loneliness leaves many questions unanswered. Why do many people feel cut off even in the midst of others? What does loneliness do to the body and mind? And what can help us find our way back to connection? Together, these outline the terrain that any attempt to understand or respond to loneliness must pass through.

 

 

Why People Feel Lonely?

 

People may feel lonely for a variety of reasons such as moving frequently, changes in family life, living in isolating urban settings, work taking priority over relationships, declining participation in community groups, and financial constraints that limit social engagement.

 

Geographical Mobility

 

In the U.S., we move for all kinds of reasons. Families with children, for example, may relocate to gain access to better schools or improved educational environments while college-age youth may move to another city or state to attend their preferred university. Career advancement and frequent transfers for personnel such as active-duty military, oil and gas workers, and academic faculty also results in moves across regions. Housing is another major factor, whether due to evictions, rising rents or wanting to cut down on the overall cost of living.  At times, climate and lifestyle preferences also influence the decision to move, whether in search of milder weather, reduced risk of natural disasters, a slower pace of life or greater access to nature, wellness retreats, and recreational opportunities. Lastly, older adults often relocate after retiring as they seek lower taxes or more suitable retirement communities.

 

Such moves make it harder to maintain regular contact with extended family and lifelong friends who provide emotional closeness and opportunities for spontaneous social interaction. What makes this even more difficult is that settling into a new place means starting over socially, which requires repeated interpersonal effort while figuring out unfamiliar expectations, social norms, and group dynamics. When this process repeats across multiple moves, it can lead to emotional fatigue from constant adjustment which in turn may reduce the motivation to seek meaningful relationships.

 

Evolving Family Structures

 

Shifts in family structure also carry negative consequences. Higher rates of single parenthood, for instance, often reduce the time and energy for building and maintaining broader social connections beyond the parent-child unit. Delayed or foregone parenthood leads to a different kind of limitation as it can restrict access to common social networks built around parenting such as playground circles, school communities, and neighborhood parent gatherings. In addition, smaller family sizes can limit the chances of sustained support later in life such as adult children who might otherwise remain geographically or emotionally close.

 

Together, these shifts and the resulting loss of daily connection can make people more likely to feel isolated from others, unsure of where they fit, and less confident reaching out—experiences that gradually deepen into persistent loneliness.

 

Urban Anonymity

 

Urban environments have certain characteristics through which they limit social interaction. One of the most significant is their physical design, with high-rise buildings and gated complexes that reduce spontaneous encounters. In high-rise buildings, for example, people often go directly from their apartment to the elevator and then out of the building without spending time in common areas. Such common areas, if they exist, are often limited to lobbies or mailrooms which do not encourage lingering or interaction. Gated complexes, in turn, with their security gates and fences, separate residents from the surrounding neighborhood which reduces casual interaction with people who live there. Beyond design, in some neighborhoods, fear of crime and scams leads to mistrust and a deliberate withdrawal from interacting with unknown neighbors or passersby.

 

As these features limit regular, low-effort contact, they make it harder for people to feel noticed or acknowledged by those living around them. Over time, this can give the impression that their presence or absence carries little weight which can discourage reaching out and gradually lead to loneliness.

 

 

Work-Centric Culture

 

The idea that anyone can rise through effort—the “American Dream”—has shaped generations to believe that achievement comes from personal drive rather than background advantages or support from others. As a result, career status and productivity are widely seen as indicators of success and measure of a person’s value in society. This belief reinforces a work-centric lifestyle where long hours, job stress, and burnout are common rather than exceptional. In such a routine, people are less likely to reach out, respond to others’ needs or engage in conversations that build trust and closeness.

 

As this pattern continues and regular contact becomes sporadic, relationships may weaken to the point where people no longer have others to turn to during moments of need or joy, leaving them socially alone even when physically surrounded.

 

Decline of Community Institutions

 

Participation in churches, clubs, and unions has steadily declined over the years. Religious attendance, for example, stood at 42% in the early 2000s for adults who attended services weekly or nearly every week but dropped to about 30% in 2023. Union membership followed a similar downward path, falling from 20.1% in 1983 to just 9.9% in 2024.

 

This shift reflects how institutions increasingly fail to fit into people’s everyday realities, whether because their schedules leave little time for participation, the group’s culture begins to feel out of step with their beliefs or identity or a discouraging experience with one institution undermines their willingness to engage with others at all.

 

But by stepping away, people give up one of the few settings where contact with others happens effortlessly—without needing to plan or reach out individually. Without that, especially for those with already limited social networks, the rest of the week may pass with few interactions which over time can leave them feeling increasingly alone.

 

Financial Hardship

 

In 2023, an estimated 36.8 million people in the United States lived in poverty which represented 11.1 percent of the population. Among the groups most affected are seniors, people with chronic conditions, persons in rural areas, and those working low-wage jobs. Of these, older adults are especially vulnerable, particularly those who rely on fixed retirement incomes that fall short of covering housing, healthcare, and daily living expenses. People with chronic health conditions or limited mobility often face poverty as well since they have added costs for care and assistance and may have fewer options for full-time employment or consistent income.

 

People in rural areas are also at risk because they face more limited local job opportunities and higher basic living costs for essentials like fuel and groceries due to longer supply chains. In addition, full-time workers in sectors such as food service, cleaning, and retail often remain below the poverty line since these jobs usually offer low wages and lack benefits.

 

People in these at-risk groups often have fewer chances to spend time with others for several reasons. Limited income, for one, makes it hard to take part in social settings that involve costs, including dining out, attending events, and joining clubs which means fewer chances to connect. Many also live in under-resourced neighborhoods with few public spaces, limited community centers, and few safe, welcoming places for casual interaction. In addition, those in low-wage jobs often face irregular hours, multiple shifts, or long workdays which leave them with little time or energy for social life. Some also feel embarrassed about their financial struggles which can make them pull away from others even more. Over time, all these can leave people without steady contact and make them more likely to feel alone.

 

How Common is Loneliness?

 

Given the many factors that lead to loneliness, it is not surprising that so many adults in the U.S. are affected. A recent population-based study illustrates this, as it found that 37.4% of adults experience loneliness, with 23.5% feeling it moderately and 14.0% severely. These numbers are further supported by data from the 2022 Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System, a large-scale CDC survey across twenty-six states with 218,915 participants. According to the findings, 32.1% of respondents reported feeling lonely, and 24.1% said they lacked social and emotional support.

 

How Loneliness Affects Health

 

 

Loneliness is not just common but carries serious consequences for both physical and mental health. These, according to the U.S. Surgeon General, include a greater risk of cardiovascular disease and stroke, depression, dementia, and premature death.

 

Heart Disease

 

The link between social isolation and physical health is especially strong in cases of heart disease and stroke. Many studies have shown that loneliness increases the likelihood of serious outcomes from both. One of these, a large review of past research, examined data from over 4600 heart disease cases and 3000 strokes. It found that people who feel socially isolated are more likely to develop heart disease or suffer a stroke. Specifically, it showed that social isolation raises the risk of heart disease by 29% and stroke by 32%. These findings suggest that lacking meaningful connection increases the risk of cardiovascular problems.

 

Depression

 

Depression often leads people to withdraw from others, yet limited social contact has also been found to increase the risk of developing this condition. This connection has been confirmed by research analyzing data from 88 studies covering over 40,000 people from different groups, including patients, caregivers, older adults, and students. The results from this analysis showed that loneliness was strongly linked to depression in all of these groups, though the strength of the association varied. It was highest among caregivers (57%), followed by patients (54%), students (50%), older adults (49%), and other participants (44%). Taken together, these findings show that loneliness increases vulnerability to depression across various segments of the population.

 

Dementia

 

A growing body of research suggests that loneliness may raise the risk of developing dementia. Among the large-scale studies supporting this idea, one followed 2,308 older adults over a ten-year period. By the end of the follow-up, 14% of all participants had developed dementia. However, among those who had reported feeling lonely, the rate was notably higher—22% developed dementia, compared to 13% of those who were not lonely. After taking into account age, sex, and education, lonely participants had a 54% greater risk of developing dementia. These results align with earlier studies that point to a connection between social isolation and long-term brain vulnerability.

 

Diabetes

 

Research into the link between loneliness and the risk of developing type 2 diabetes has a long history. Some studies began decades ago and followed participants for extended periods, including one that tracked over 24,000 adults in Norway for 20 years.

 

By the end of the follow-up, 4.9% of participants had developed type 2 diabetes. Among them, those who felt most alone had roughly twice the risk of developing the condition compared to those who did not feel lonely.

 

To understand what might underlie this association, the researchers examined whether factors like depression and insomnia could account for the increased risk but they did not find strong evidence to support this. These findings suggest that loneliness may be a risk factor on its own for type 2 diabetes.

 

Aging

 

What factors influence the speed of aging has long fascinated researchers worldwide. Among the many approaches, one developed in China used blood samples to track DNA changes and calculate biological age, regardless of the years lived. Based on data from 12,000 adults, the study found that conditions like lung and liver disease and stroke increase biological age by 1 to 2 years while loneliness adds up to 1.65 years— a comparable effect. The study also revealed that the overall impact of psychological factors was greater than the effects of smoking, living in a rural area, and being unmarried. The researchers concluded that emotional well-being should be treated as a key factor in aging, not a secondary concern.

 

Premature Death

 

Premature death is one of the most serious consequences of loneliness, and it is no surprise that researchers have looked into it closely. Several of these studies have added insight, including a 14-year investigation that tracked over 1,300 Swedish adults, 22% of whom were identified as lonely at the start. During the follow-up, lonely participants died at higher rates than non-lonely ones, and survival analysis showed they had a 27% greater risk of premature death.

 

While most studies have confirmed the broad relationship between loneliness and premature death, some researchers have taken a closer look at the specific factors within loneliness that contribute to this risk. Among these is a major UK study which tracked over 458,000 adults for approximately 13 years to explore how a lack of social connection relates to the risk of early death. The researchers examined emotional aspects such as whether people had someone to confide in and felt lonely and practical ones like how often they saw friends or family, participated in group activities, and lived alone. In terms of emotional connection, those who had no one to confide in faced a 7% higher risk of early death while those who often felt lonely had a 6% increase in risk. When it came to social habits, people who saw friends or family less than once a month had a 39% greater risk of dying early and those who did not engage in weekly group activities faced a 13% higher risk. Living alone was also associated with poorer outcomes which translated into a 25% higher risk of early death.

 

How to Overcome Loneliness

 

 

Loneliness can be addressed in different ways, including by re-engaging with existing relationships and forming new ones, whether through organized settings or more personal, everyday interactions.

 

Strengthening Existing Relationships

 

Many people have underused sources of connection that have faded not because of conflict or disinterest but because the momentum of life shifts relationships into the background. Yet, because they already involve some shared history or familiarity, they can often be reawakened more easily than building a new one. Such dormant connections might include former classmates and dorm roommates, friends of siblings, and parents from a child’s old school.

 

Bringing these relationships into life works best when the message refers to something concrete from the time spent together. With former classmates and dorm roommates, for example, this can be a specific moment that stood out back then—whether it was absurd, stressful, funny, or unmistakably real. That might be a late-night kitchen debate over which pizza topping was morally superior, struggling to decode cryptic IKEA instructions neither of you understood, or tearing the room apart looking for a student ID while insisting the place was cursed, not messy.

 

Along with classmates and roommates, friends of siblings are also easy to reach. This is because these connections often formed through casual interaction during family meals, movie nights, picnics, and everyday conversations in passing. As those earlier encounters were part of everyday family life and the dynamic was often easygoing, they can often be reopened with something light. This could be a photo of the old couch where everyone squeezed in, a joke about who always burned the popcorn, or a mention of that group game where you always ended up on opposite teams. Even sending a snapshot from an old family barbecue with a message like, “Found this—how did we survive his playlist?” can strike the right balance of playful and familiar without feeling intrusive.

 

Though less close than the first two, parents from a child’s old school can still be a meaningful source of reconnection. Familiarity with them often developed through time spent side by side—whether during pickup routines, school plays, birthday parties, or volunteer shifts. Thus, interactions around these shared experiences are a good way to ease back into contact. These might include the time you were both stuck folding chairs long after the play ended, the way you always ended up on snack duty together or that chat in the hallway where you both admitted you’d forgotten it was picture day.

 

Forming New Connections

 

When existing connections are not regularly available, it becomes important to form new ones. This can happen through organized social settings or through everyday places where the same people tend to reappear.

 

Building Connections through Social Settings

 

One way to meet new people is by taking part in shared social settings, either by creating a group or joining one that already exists. With the first route, creating a micro-community, the person who initiates it naturally becomes the focal point of the group’s social interactions. Other participants enter in response to their invitation and naturally approach them first. Additionally, members expect this person to set the tone and provide direction, so they engage with the organizer more frequently. This allows the group’s creator to build relationships more quickly than the other participants. Yet, as this faster connection results from being proactive, forming a community suits people who feel comfortable taking on a central social role.

 

Additionally, joining an existing community offers another way to form new connections. In this setting, a person does not have to be at the center of attention and can choose a more comfortable position—either staying in the background to observe others for longer or placing themselves closer to the middle where they are somewhat visible yet still able to take time before fully engaging. This appeals to those who prefer to ease into social settings and feel more natural connecting through steady, low-pressure exposure.

Personal Routes to Connection

 

In addition to organized social settings, there are individual pathways to forming new relationships. One such route is to spend time in casual environments where the same people tend to return regularly. Examples include dog parks, community gardens, and gym stretching areas where familiar faces are likely to reappear.

 

Of these, dog parks offer a good opportunity for pet owners since conversation flows easily around topics like breeds, training experiences, food preferences, and social behavior. Moreover, going at the same times each day—when other regulars tend to show up—makes it more likely to run into familiar faces and gradually build connection.

 

Community gardens, also a shared space, likewise create opportunities for interaction as people often coordinate around tasks like watering, composting, and maintaining common areas. These shared responsibilities often lead to small practical questions such as: Is this compost ready or should it sit a bit longer? or Have you found the water pressure strong enough when using the hose lately? These questions may start out simple and practical, yet over time, they might lead to familiar faces exchanging greetings, sharing tips or lingering a bit longer in conversation.

 

Lastly, gym stretching areas are a good place to connect with fitness enthusiasts who use these spaces before or after their sessions or as a workout in their own right. Because interaction here takes place in a more relaxed environment than during intense exercise in the gym, it feels more natural to exchange brief comments about stiffness, favorite stretches or recovery habits. These small interactions can lead to shared routines, opportunities to exchange advice, and gradually longer conversations.

 

Wrapping Up

 

Loneliness arises from a combination of many factors, and it is precisely for this variety that it reaches so many lives. Yet, despite how common it has become in society, loneliness need not remain fixed in individual lives. One way forward involves nurturing overlooked bonds and creating new paths toward others—just some of the many ways people can begin to reclaim closeness and rebuild a sense of belonging.

FAQ

 

How do early childhood experiences influence vulnerability to loneliness in adulthood?

 

Early childhood experiences such as neglect, repeated invalidation of feelings, and emotionally unpredictable caregiving affect the ability to build connection. With repeated invalidation, for example, the caregiver consistently dismisses, criticizes or mocks a child’s emotions. When a child says “I’m scared,” the parent might respond “Stop being silly, there’s nothing to be scared of.” If they cry, the caregiver may say “You’re too sensitive” or “You’re just doing this for attention.” This teaches children that their emotions are wrong, bothersome or unacceptable, so they may begin to hide what they feel. As a result, emotional closeness with others cannot develop which lies at the heart of building relationships.

 

What kinds of adult experiences can make people hesitant to form close relationships?

 

Certain adult experiences can make people more reluctant to form close relationships, with a common example being asymmetry where one person invests more than the others. For instance, someone might repeatedly initiate contact, offer support or share personal thoughts while receiving little in return. When this happens over time and across different relationships, contact itself can begin to feel depleting, so the person grows more hesitant to engage.

 

Another experience that can make people reluctant to build closeness is being assigned lesser importance. This can mean being sidelined during key moments such as not being told about a friend’s major life event or being left out of important group plans. When this happens more than once, it can lead people to hold back in order to avoid the feeling of being easily overlooked.

 

Can people inherit a predisposition toward loneliness?

 

Yes, research shows that loneliness can be partially inherited. In one study, for example, researchers examined patterns of loneliness in twins to understand the role of genetics. They compared identical twins who share nearly 100% of their genes and fraternal twins who have about 50%, just like any other siblings. They found that identical twins report similar levels of loneliness much more often than fraternal ones. Given that in both identical and fraternal twin pairs each sibling grows up under different environmental influences such as schools, friendships, and personal experiences, it is not the environment but shared genes that explain why identical twins tend to report more similar levels of loneliness.

 

How does pregnancy sometimes change a person’s sense of connection with others?

 

During pregnancy, loneliness can arise either from self-protection or from a shift in how others relate to the person. In the case of self-protection, this often comes from a need for rest or to shield emotional energy during a vulnerable time. This need may show up in everyday behavior such as declining invitations, avoiding late-night calls, and reaching out less often than before. Yet, this gradually limits opportunities for shared experiences and narrows a woman’s social world.

 

With changes in how others relate to the pregnant person, this can come from a belief that the pregnancy is now the most important or defining aspect of the woman’s life. As a result, friends and acquaintances may focus only on pregnancy-related topics such as symptoms, the due date or parenting plans. This shift can make the person feel reduced to a role which may lead them to withdraw from conversations or social situations as they expect to be seen only through that lens.